Back to the Path

But I Still Need Your Input

****Please note: There is a picture of an unidentifiable mass of fur in this post. Not a pet, I promise, and maybe not even an animal! But if things like this make you squeamish, you might want to skip this post… xox

Hi Friends,

Weeeeell, I was back at the desk this past week. Unfortunately, the writing output was meager. I’ve written about reverse reading as one of my superpowers, but I was doing something like reverse writing, and it reminds me a little of that philosophical question “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”

Did I actually write if I erased everything I wrote by the end of the session?

Anyway, since I’m struggling to get back into the writing groove, I’m really liking the idea of another short, interactive post, like the one I had last week. You guys really came through for me when I asked for advice, and I really appreciated it. You gave me the push I needed to sit down and at least try to write. I even sent out a couple of queries, which made me feel like I was making progress, too, so thank you!

(Don’t worry, though. The queries didn’t lead anywhere, at least not yet. I didn’t harm my impressive rejection record, so its all good.)

Getting back to this week’s post, since the goal last week was to reconnect with my routine, I walked my usual path near my house for exercise and inspiration. As I’ve shared, I do some of my best thinking on my walks. Yesterday, I was musing over short humor pieces, which are consuming a lot of brain space because I’m trying to figure out how to write them. And I have my work cut out for me. When I read humor practitioners in action here on Substack like Lindsey @ Not Normal Sheila Moeschen Michelle Milliken Sara Henny Hiemenz and Shelly Mazzanoble it’s kind of intimidating.

Anyway, I was feeling very proud of myself for staying on task, pondering GenZ lingo, dogs, you know, everyday things I laugh at because I have a juvenile sense of humor, and then I came upon this:

That’s right. There I was, innocently looking for humor in every day life, and what seemed to be a pile of—was it fur?— got in my way.

I mean, WTAF?

Being a journalist in a former life, I was curious, but honestly, not that curious. I’m trying to do humor, not horror. Whatever it was definitely didn’t look alive.

But did I need to fashion a spear in case of a Stephen King moment?

Seriously, the thing was taking up all kinds of space in the path. Walking around it seemed…risky. But maybe after reading Leonora Ross’s bear post last week (it’s great—Leonora is a badass!—you can read her story here) I decided I had to be brave and take my chances.

Thankfully, the thing didn’t come back from the dead, assuming it was ever alive. Also thankfully, there was nothing recognizable on it. And it definitely wasn’t someone’s pet or I would have been totally traumatized.

But after I’d managed to slip around it, I put my novelist hat back on. Because whenever weird shit happens on the path, I see it as contributing to the now-overused metaphor for my writing life.

What the hell is the meaning of the beast that’s obstructing my path?

As I continued walking, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t being followed, I realized I couldn’t answer that question. How could I adequately understand the symbolic meaning of the beast if I didn’t know what the hell it was?

So, this where I need your assistance because you’ve come through for me before, friends. You’ve seen the picture. If you want to help me decipher the metaphor, please give me your best guess about this UFO (Unidentified Furry Object).

I’ll try to make it a little easier for you and offer this poll:

I am certainly open to all theories, as you can see from option five. If you perceive this beast to be something other than raccoon-adjacent, please explain in the comments. And absolutely feel free to opine on the metaphoric meaning of the UFO, too, should you see one.

And just so you know, I walked the path this morning, and the beast was still there. I honestly don’t think there’s a human or creature that will move it from its, uh, resting place. This means that it could be a beast in the way of others, too. I’ll leave it to your interpretation.

As always, thank you so much for stopping by! Please leave me a heart, a comment, or DM me with a UFO of your own. I’ll be happy to hear from you no matter what. ❤️

xo,

Diane