Before I found my first agent, I had written 6 books that simply weren't ready. I was learning. Then, after securing an agent, my book died on submission and my agent left the business. I found a second agent, and we sold a different book. That's a lot of books in. Over a lot of years. Meanwhile, younger writers were getting massive book deals on their first ever manuscript.
Our paths are all different.
Every time I thought about quitting, I simply didn't want to. I am a writer; I write. I was never going to stop writing.
The question of self publishing is a good one that only you can answer. But shut out the statistics, if you can, for traditional publishing. Traditional publishing takes luck, which my dad always defined as "preparation meeting opportunity."
One thing we don't talk a lot about in traditional publishing is being market-ready, and this is something that is exceedingly subjective and difficult to discern. Market-ready is a fresh take on a genre, or a high concept pitch. It's offering readers something to respond excitedly to. We all hope our books are exciting, but sometimes they're not and we can't see that because we HAVE to believe they're exciting. I've written two books that were not market ready (while agented!). That was AFTER I'd already published books.
Keep going. Only you can deal with rejection sensitivity disorder (a very real thing), and only you can decide what your next move should be. But if you want an agent and to be traditionally published, keep going.
Thank you so much for this incredibly thoughtful comment, Sierra. I so appreciate your insights! And what an incredible saga. I’m so impressed that you hung in there, and that you continue to write and traditionally publish! Having the identity of a writer is a real thing. Clearly, you always knew! That’s fantastic, too. And now you can also say you’re an author, which is amazing.
I was a little late to the party, only figuring out in my mid 20s that I wanted to pursue fiction writing (I got a masters degree to check it out), then I temporarily dropped it when I didn’t have a way to support myself other than to go back to journalism. It took me a decade to go back to writing fiction. Since then, every time I think I’m ready to stop, I keep going. But this manuscript feels different. I’m certainly not finished querying, but I can feel myself pulling back a bit, when what I should really do is press ahead. But I really do need to press ahead. I’m pretty sure sitting still is the worst thing I can do, especially after reading your comment. It’s really the only way I can find out.
So onward with the hope that I’ll figure it out as I go. It sounds like that’s what you’re saying and it makes sense. Hopefully others will read your answer and benefit from it too!
This is great advice. Everything is subjective. But it's better not to have RSD if you can help it...you're never going to please everyone. I feel as if I don't have it simply because after so many years as a musician, I've gotten used to rejection or criticism from one place and praise from another about the same things. I think being a writer is the same.
This makes tons of sense, Bria. Being a musician will probably set you up well to endure the rejections that come with publishing--unfortunately. But you're early in the writing journey, right? Hopefully you can put all of this publishing talk aside and just keep after your novel! So excited to hear more about your project when you're ready to share! And thank you so so much, as always, for reading and commenting! I'm so grateful for your support, and your friendship! ❤️
Excellent points from SC! I think if you still believe in the book, keep submitting. A lot of it really does come down to timing and the right fit with the right agent (like with most relationships). Sending you hugs and strength. It’s a tough business! xx
Thanks a million for this, Alexa Joy! I so appreciate your input! I’ve really been stalling, but I think I have to keep querying and do it with more purpose. As I just wrote to Sierra, the one thing that probably doesn’t make sense is to go so slowly that I’m treading water.
Querying in 2026 definitely feels better than querying back in 2020, but I’m still not sure if the book will gain traction. You’re right about agent fit, but it’s also about the writing, and while I think I’ve nailed the story, that’s the part that’s hardest to know.
In any case, I’m so grateful for the hugs and the advice! Hopefully other folks will read this and also learn from your advice! xox
Writers like Eleanor Anstruther have serialised their work on Substack to good effect. From what I’ve read of your Gen X rom com, it’s an excellent novel and I know it’ll find its champion. My mentor wrote a piece this week which I’ll forward to you but put simply the trenches are harder now than when she queried in the past (she’s seeking new rep) and I think it’s just that you need to keep going and keep querying more agents. You’re so talented especially if the sample and this Substack are anything to go by and I think you should keep going. If nothing happens over the next year, you can decide to go the Indie publishing route but it’s not too late for your dreams. ❤️🫶🏻
You're so sweet, Elaine! I'm so grateful for your thoughts! And for the insights from your mentor! I'm pretty convinced from all of the input here that I have to keep querying. And it's interesting what you're saying about giving it a year. That may be the realistic amount of time needed for this round. I wonder if I should consider putting up some sample chapters in the meantime or if I'm better off keeping them offline. It's a strange place I've landed. No matter what, I deeply appreciate your cheerleading and kindness! Thank you again! And I hope people see this thread and check out your newsletter which is amazing! ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t think it’ll hurt to serialise. As I said, other writers are serialising and later publishing the novel and memoir bits. It takes time to get some Substack traction too so keep going with your lovely, funny essay. 🫶🏻🤞🏻🥰
Just a note here - serializing a novel on Substack is considered publishing, so if anyone wants to seek traditional publication later for it, it likely won't be as viable because it's considered published. That said, there are exceptions to everything and if it's treated more episodically and story-like, rather than chapters from a novel, it can work.
That's such helpful info, SC! If I move toward serializing, I'll be sure to seek out clear advice about the ramifications. I deeply appreciate that very hot tip!! xoxo
Hi Diane, you mentioned that you had two agents before, and that those two books died on submission. What happened after that -did you mutually decide to call it quits because they weren't supportive while you wrote the next book? Or if it was an amicable split, maybe you could contact either of them again and present the new novel to them?
You need to go with your gut feeling. If you're not sure about serially posting on Substack, then maybe trad publishing is what you feel is best for you, even if the idea of querying is like pulling teeth. What about speaking to agents personally via conferences? Live pitching to an agent is a good way of testing the market.
Generally an agent won't be able to resist a high-concept novel. Something different, that has a twist on something familiar, that can be summarized in one sentence and pulls the reader in. Amor Towles, A Gentleman in Moscow - man is imprisoned in a hotel and needs to make a viable existence there. Yesteryear (love it or hate it) - influencer is forced to live the trad wife lifestyle...in 1855.
You mentioned that you're working on a GenX rom-com. What makes it different from the other rom-coms out there? How can you make it more high-concept?
You need to identify what it is about querying that makes you hesitant to step back in again, and then work to fix it. I hate querying myself, so all the agent offers I got were live-pitched to them. I went to conferences around the country. So when it came time to send my manuscript, I had several people who I already connected with.
The real hurdle isn't the querying part. The hardest, most devastating part, is a book dying on submission. BUT...that book can be resurrected - and "un-rejected" - once you have an agent in your corner who will be able to sell that book as your second book, once she convinces the editors that your current novel is irresistible.
Thank you so SO much for sharing your thoughts, Katherine. So many great insights. A few things...regarding agents, I broke up with my first one (and not particularly amicably) before we went out on sub. She stopped communicating and wasn't helpful as I was revising. I never found another agent for that book (although I'm revisiting it--now it's an historical novel!!). The second agent doesn't seem super interested in the current novel. She repped me on a kidlit book--that's the one that died on sub. She's just now taking on some adult work, but she didn't answer my last email. I consider this a dead end.
So there's that.
Regarding the rom-com, it's different because it features a fifty-something protag, which is not the norm out there. I feel like midlife books are getting more popular right now and I explore midlife themes. It's been hard to find comps, so I don't feel it lacks the unique quality. But I've been told I should try to up the stakes a bit, which is challenging with humor. But I do think I've managed to make my character feel urgency in the book...
And I've done some live pitching over the years. I'm setting up two opportunities for that in June. They will be the first live pitches since this latest revision, so we'll see!
I guess it's just been a long journey and I'm battle-fatigued. It's premature to stop querying at the moment. But I was just thinking a future plan might help.
And you're helping me think on that-- I'm so grateful to you! Thank you again for your insights, and your support! I hope others read that comment for some helpful advice!! xox
Good luck on the live pitching, Diane! I feel it's more effective to send out a full MS once you've connected to an agent personally. You also then bypass the waiting time as they tell you right then if they want the full MS.
It's true that there aren't many 50-something rom coms, but there are more midlife books out there now, so there's an audience for that. With raising the stakes I ask myself, what will happen to the protagonist if she doesn't get what she wants now? What horrible things will happen to her? Even if she won't die, will she lose her house or job or be unable to take care of her family?
Thank you so much for this thoughtful advice, Katherine, and the good wishes for my live pitches. I think you're right about pitching in person when possible! And I'm always trying to revise with your last point in mind. Again, I think I upped the stakes in the latest version, giving my protag more to lose. Hopefully, it's enough!
Again, thank you for reading and commenting! I'm so grateful to you! ❤️
I definitely won’t pretend to have any advice for you but will instead just say that I’ve been there and it’s all so hard. Only you can truly know what’s the right next step for you, but I am a firm believer that there’s no such thing as trying too long or too hard—it just depends on what you want most. If you want a traditional publishing deal, don’t give up on it. If your biggest goal is to get your work out there, we are lucky enough to live in a time where there are lots of wonderful paths to do so! Here to keep rooting you on either way 🙌
Thanks a million for your thoughts, Cortney! And I know that you’ve strived for the book deal (hooray that you landed it!!) so I imagine you’ve traveled the rattlesnake road to get there! The alternate paths do look more appealing than they used to, so there are options. I’ll probably end up coming back to all of you for more advice as I get even deeper into the trenches.
In the meantime, I’m so grateful for your encouragement! I deeply appreciate it! And I’m weighing what all of you are saying—maybe other readers will benefit, too from all of this wisdom. I hope so! We are fellow travelers, even if some of us take a little longer on the journey, or go a different path altogether. xox
I agree with what SC and Alexa said. You can keep trying or take a break. Being a writer is not something you choose to be — it is just what you are (I believe).
If I can suggest anything, you can try serializing it, and see what the response is like, maybe the first 10 episodes or so, and see the engagement? If you choose to do so, I will share anything that I learned over the last half a year I have been here. I do not have a gazillion subscribers, but I believe I have a steady stream of readers who often leave likes and comments, including you. Let me know what you think. I am pretty sure you already have the manuscript ready, so it might be easy for you to start on it. (And I want to read it so bad!! I know it is good. 💕😉)
Thank you so much Yuni! You’re such an inspiration! I love how you forged ahead with serializing! Your story is fantastic, so it makes sense that you’d have engagement. I’m a little more fearful, but if/when I take the plunge, I will absolutely reach out! It makes a lot of sense to test the waters. I could certainly see myself going that route if I become exhausted from querying.
I hope people see your comments here and also take a look at your newsletter. It’s a great story, and also a really fine example of how to serialize!
Thanks so much again for your support!! I’m so grateful to you! xox
Let me take a sip of me tea. Boy, Diane. That's showing beautiful vulnerability! And judging by the wonderful and sincere comments, I hope you can see you're not alone in this.
This is a hard knock on the head business, and lately I've been thinking a lot about how to balance things to avoid burnout, and to simply cut myself some slack now and then.
Querying is hard. Anyone who's been through it, knows it's like dressing up and going to hundreds of job interviews. Only, we can't chit-chat and smile politely; we have just our words to speak for us. On the other end of your submission, sits a human being who is bombarded with queries. And on the other side of her, is a publishing industry where the focus has shifted to reduced costs (i.e. human numbers) and (incredulously) increased profit.
I try to remember all the players and their roles, because it helps me not to feel personally rejected.
I make my man listen to passages of my work from time to time. He doesn't register a word of it (I forgive him; he has many other qualities that make up for his lack of a literate ear). He asked me over the weekend. 'Even if you can't get a publishing deal, would your life be worse off if you didn't write?' And the only answer that came was a resounding, 'Yes!' Of course I would be worse off if I stopped writing, regardless if my only audience's eyes glaze over when I read him poetry and prose.
To your question about what you should do: Absolutely don't give up! 🌸
The good news is there are options for publishing. Each carries its own challenges. But there are options.
When the memory of a snake encounter is still fresh in your mind, your brain's survival mechanism says, no way am I doing that again! But in time, you go through your photos, and you realise the snake was only a potential threat. There'd been no harm done. What matters most, is having been on the trip.
Ah Leonora, this is a wonderful answer to my post! Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom. How smart to think of the literary agent on the other side. It's easy to imagine that they have the easy job, but they have to face querying and rejection too, it's true. Even the editors have to hear no. It's best not to take it personally, even though that's hard.
I love that your man listens to you read your work. What a great image-- and what devotion! And he asked the right question. Sometimes, the answer nearly slips out that I'd rather spare myself the pain of writing, but it never really lands. What ends up happening is that I take a break from writing novels and try something else.
One day, I wonder if I'll walk away from fiction writing for good in favor of other forms. It could happen out of frustration. But your answer helps me see that in a way, that's not giving up either. That's just channeling the urge to write in another direction.
Finally, I love that you turned my own near-miss with the snake back on me in such a productive way!! Thank you for that!! The snake won't define the vacation. What a fantastic takeaway.
Again, I can't thank you enough for all of these insights. I greatly appreciate them. I'm sure that others reading the comments will gain something from them too! I'm so grateful for your support and your friendship! ❤️
P.S. If your man gets tired of hearing your passages, please feel free to reach out. I'd be very happy to hear them!
My two cents: start your next book (or project) now, while you are in the querying process. I know for myself, moving forward helps keep negative thoughts at bay. As frustrating as the querying process is, on a daily basis it doesn’t need to consume you. Do your research, send your emails, and move on. All you can do is control what you can control.
Thanks so much, Henny! You’re 100% right about moving forward with other projects. I’ve been working on humor pieces as a way to push myself, and Substack has been a big diversion, too. I’m also revising an old manuscript because I have a new idea for it. But I’m really skittish about starting a new book. I don’t write super fast, so books are multi-year commitments. That makes putting one in the drawer extra painful. In any case, I’m hoping I can dig into a bigger project again one day soon.
Really appreciate you reading and commenting, as always! And hope your writing is going well! Can’t wait to hear an update about your book, too!
I think many of us creative people quietly carry entire cemeteries of unfinished or overworked projects behind us.
Not because the ideas weren’t good enough…
but because somewhere along the way we became convinced they needed to emerge into the world already perfect, polished, meaningful, and wearing formal attire.
Meanwhile the poor creative spirit is somewhere in the corner asking if it may simply write again before retirement.
And honestly, I’m beginning to suspect that sharing work imperfectly with real humans might actually be healthier than endlessly trying to survive the rattlesnake obstacle course of perfection and gatekeeping.
Also, your Arizona story gave me flashbacks. Rainer and I once crossed Arizona during our slightly wild California-to-Belize adventure years ago, and our own “spiritual Arizona experience” involved a blown tire on a pitch-black motorway, absolutely no equipment to fix it, and eventually a sheriff rescuing us into what can only be described as a deeply suspicious 1970s motel of nightmares. 😄
So personally, I think Arizona may simply be where people go to receive dramatic life metaphors.
Publishing is so very treacherous! And based on your experience, Arizona was the right setting for the metaphor—better than I realized! Yes, it’s so hard to know how much of the self to hang out there, and for how long. But it’s also hard to stop writing with the wish that other people might see it and benefit somehow — or at least laugh (which is the aim of my book). I’ll press ahead with querying for now, but to what end, I’m not sure. I will come to all of you again if I need a shot of antivenom! Thanks a million for stopping by and commenting! I’m so grateful to you have you in the conversation!
I wish I could give some advice. I can't muster my own daily writing practice to get my damn book done. But I am here. Rooting for you. And me. Us. I whatever happens to our creations. May God bless us with amazing, traditional publishing deals and we get on Oprah and Reese's book lists. Boom. Manifesting.
Thank you so much for the cheerleading, my friend! I'm sending so much good energy back at you. And trust me, I've been through those moments when the butt simply won't land the chair. You'll get back to it. Sometimes, it's good to take a break! (And if you don't need a break but just feel blah, one of my tricks is to leave the MS open on screen and walk away. At some point, you might find yourself in front of it because well, it's just sitting there! I'm not kidding!!).
And may Oprah and Reese hear your prayers.
Thank you for reading and for the support--always! ❤️
I felt this all the way down in my bones...which means you gotta keep going. This is a brutal path, but if it's your passion and your talent, it's hard to let go even though you get slapped around so much. I really felt this hard.
Thank you so much for reading -- and for this comment, I&H. I hope you aren't on a hard journey with your writing yourself. Either way, I'm so rooting for you as you work on your own project. Are you shooting for traditional publishing? Hopefully, your passion keeps you going, whatever your goals! Thank you again for the support with I deeply appreciate!❤️
I love this conversation Diane, thank you for starting it. I think questioning yourself is a form of affirming belief in yourself, so you are on the right track. I also had an agent who left the business, which was incredibly disappointing, but I have to add that I still believe in the books she didn't sell. When I look at them now, I think they are gorgeous and worth publication. I have chosen to submit to publishers who accept unagented submissions (some have little submission windows). I have a spreadsheet and everything, and I'm using parts of my agent's email pitches. And still working on my current writing.
Like I said, I think you are doing great. And the advice here is amazing.
Ah, I didn’t remember that you were a publishing veteran!! Forgive me!! It’s a great idea to submit direct to publishers. I’m very tempted to go that route myself, but I don’t know exactly when to do that since I’m querying for representation, and I don’t want an agent to be irritated that I’m reaching out to publishers on my own. In any case, I’m SO cheering for you!! Please keep me (and us!!) posted about about your progress! Or send me a DM!! ❤️
Oops, I should’ve been more clear… I am submitting my picture books! At some point, I may submit my middle grade novel after a revision. But that is for the future. So I don’t anticipate crossover between the publishers I’m submitting to now and agents who might represent my adult mystery since very few agents represent both age groups. I didn’t mean to be disingenuous in my comment. But I do think it is a route you could try if you run out of agent ideas and still don’t want to self publish. I also liked the advice that you could go to live pitch events. I think that would be really smart and might even be fun. I would like to try that myself.
Ah, that makes good sense! It's a fine idea to go out with your picture books on your own! It's also great to send to publishers direct after querying. And something I've considered, but maybe for later. :)
I'd also agree that live pitch events make sense! I've done them before, but with every big revision the book changes, so it's worth doing more.
Thanks so much again for all the comments and engagement! You're such an awesome friend and I'm so grateful for your support! ❤️
Diane, I'm glad you avoided that rattlesnake and weren't too shaken up by that root. AZ's beauty does come with a price.
I self-published books using print on demand in the past and it didn't cost very much and got them on Amazon, all the other major booksellers and available through Baker and Taylor. I intend to publish the same way when I finish my next.
Marketing/sales is still essential for any author, even if they do have a traditional publisher--you're pretty much on your own unless you're Stephen King and are supposed to have proof of an audience/following today anyway. Just because you're a creative doesn't mean these skills aren't expected.
If you're going to do the marketing anyway, you might as well keep a larger amount of each book sale for yourself IMO and control the content and creative elements.
In terms of serializing on Substack, I'm not sure if you follow Sarah Fay from Northwestern but she both writes about Substack from the writer's POV and also serialized her own book on Substack called "Pathological" and then it became a bestseller, so studying what she did might help you decide if you're up for it.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Melanie! I didn’t realize you’d gone down the self-publishing path, but I hear you about the benefits. And you’re such an incredible go-getter that I’ll bet you know exactly how to do the marketing. Honestly, that’s my biggest fear about it. I don’t think I’d be good at it at all. But I’ll be exploring it more deeply if the querying doesn’t go my way. It sounds like you’ve really made it work for you.
Regarding serializing, I just discovered Sara Fay and will be sure to read all of the back posts about her publishing journey. I love the stories about people’s successes that don’t start with traditional publishing. As you and others here in the comments have pointed out, there really are many ways to get one’s work out there these days.
Many thanks again for this answer, and for your support which means the world to me! I’m so grateful for your friendship.❤️
I’m very glad to help Diane. Marketing was my college major and my initial career for over a decade and I did direct sales and was a sales trainer—skills that can never hurt in anything you want to do.
That said, I doubt if I had to start today that I would have chosen to go into Marketing because it is all social media and even Notes I have a love-hate relationship with.
IMO book marketing is just selling yourself and what you believe in, and we’re all good at that.
I try to play into my strength of writing through my Substack publication, Notes, Guest Posts and in the past, I got some pretty good media exposure responding to reporter requests for assistance with their work through a service called HARO (Help a Reporter Out) which I would probably try again (or something similar). I also did a lot of strategic alliance and partnership work, so I’m good at building relationships and collaborating—another way to get the word out and support each other (like you and I do now).
Glad you discovered Sarah, as opposed to the “get 1 million subscribers tomorrow “ camp, she approaches Substack from the writer’s POV which I like although she herself is more into video/lives than I care to be.
I’ll be very interested to see how this goes for you my friend!
Thanks a million again, Melanie!! So grateful for your POV! I’ll be back in touch if self-publishing is in the cards. And unfortunately for you, my subscribers, you’ll hear about this publishing journey one way or another - LOL! ❤️
Don’t give up, Diane. Dig in to the process (the writing) and have a game plan, like you do, and that may be evolving, but let go of the results as much as you can. You’re a writer through and through. You can be proud of that always. ❤️
Excellent advice, Jenn. It's so hard to remember to just go back to the work and let the process sort itself out. Maybe I shouldn't even try to think too far ahead. One day at at time. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I so appreciate your support! ❤️
Before I found my first agent, I had written 6 books that simply weren't ready. I was learning. Then, after securing an agent, my book died on submission and my agent left the business. I found a second agent, and we sold a different book. That's a lot of books in. Over a lot of years. Meanwhile, younger writers were getting massive book deals on their first ever manuscript.
Our paths are all different.
Every time I thought about quitting, I simply didn't want to. I am a writer; I write. I was never going to stop writing.
The question of self publishing is a good one that only you can answer. But shut out the statistics, if you can, for traditional publishing. Traditional publishing takes luck, which my dad always defined as "preparation meeting opportunity."
One thing we don't talk a lot about in traditional publishing is being market-ready, and this is something that is exceedingly subjective and difficult to discern. Market-ready is a fresh take on a genre, or a high concept pitch. It's offering readers something to respond excitedly to. We all hope our books are exciting, but sometimes they're not and we can't see that because we HAVE to believe they're exciting. I've written two books that were not market ready (while agented!). That was AFTER I'd already published books.
Keep going. Only you can deal with rejection sensitivity disorder (a very real thing), and only you can decide what your next move should be. But if you want an agent and to be traditionally published, keep going.
Thank you so much for this incredibly thoughtful comment, Sierra. I so appreciate your insights! And what an incredible saga. I’m so impressed that you hung in there, and that you continue to write and traditionally publish! Having the identity of a writer is a real thing. Clearly, you always knew! That’s fantastic, too. And now you can also say you’re an author, which is amazing.
I was a little late to the party, only figuring out in my mid 20s that I wanted to pursue fiction writing (I got a masters degree to check it out), then I temporarily dropped it when I didn’t have a way to support myself other than to go back to journalism. It took me a decade to go back to writing fiction. Since then, every time I think I’m ready to stop, I keep going. But this manuscript feels different. I’m certainly not finished querying, but I can feel myself pulling back a bit, when what I should really do is press ahead. But I really do need to press ahead. I’m pretty sure sitting still is the worst thing I can do, especially after reading your comment. It’s really the only way I can find out.
So onward with the hope that I’ll figure it out as I go. It sounds like that’s what you’re saying and it makes sense. Hopefully others will read your answer and benefit from it too!
Thank you so much again! xoxo
We are all rooting for you!
Big big hugs to you and everyone Sierra! I so appreciate it!!
This is great advice. Everything is subjective. But it's better not to have RSD if you can help it...you're never going to please everyone. I feel as if I don't have it simply because after so many years as a musician, I've gotten used to rejection or criticism from one place and praise from another about the same things. I think being a writer is the same.
This makes tons of sense, Bria. Being a musician will probably set you up well to endure the rejections that come with publishing--unfortunately. But you're early in the writing journey, right? Hopefully you can put all of this publishing talk aside and just keep after your novel! So excited to hear more about your project when you're ready to share! And thank you so so much, as always, for reading and commenting! I'm so grateful for your support, and your friendship! ❤️
Excellent points from SC! I think if you still believe in the book, keep submitting. A lot of it really does come down to timing and the right fit with the right agent (like with most relationships). Sending you hugs and strength. It’s a tough business! xx
Thanks a million for this, Alexa Joy! I so appreciate your input! I’ve really been stalling, but I think I have to keep querying and do it with more purpose. As I just wrote to Sierra, the one thing that probably doesn’t make sense is to go so slowly that I’m treading water.
Querying in 2026 definitely feels better than querying back in 2020, but I’m still not sure if the book will gain traction. You’re right about agent fit, but it’s also about the writing, and while I think I’ve nailed the story, that’s the part that’s hardest to know.
In any case, I’m so grateful for the hugs and the advice! Hopefully other folks will read this and also learn from your advice! xox
Writers like Eleanor Anstruther have serialised their work on Substack to good effect. From what I’ve read of your Gen X rom com, it’s an excellent novel and I know it’ll find its champion. My mentor wrote a piece this week which I’ll forward to you but put simply the trenches are harder now than when she queried in the past (she’s seeking new rep) and I think it’s just that you need to keep going and keep querying more agents. You’re so talented especially if the sample and this Substack are anything to go by and I think you should keep going. If nothing happens over the next year, you can decide to go the Indie publishing route but it’s not too late for your dreams. ❤️🫶🏻
You're so sweet, Elaine! I'm so grateful for your thoughts! And for the insights from your mentor! I'm pretty convinced from all of the input here that I have to keep querying. And it's interesting what you're saying about giving it a year. That may be the realistic amount of time needed for this round. I wonder if I should consider putting up some sample chapters in the meantime or if I'm better off keeping them offline. It's a strange place I've landed. No matter what, I deeply appreciate your cheerleading and kindness! Thank you again! And I hope people see this thread and check out your newsletter which is amazing! ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t think it’ll hurt to serialise. As I said, other writers are serialising and later publishing the novel and memoir bits. It takes time to get some Substack traction too so keep going with your lovely, funny essay. 🫶🏻🤞🏻🥰
Just a note here - serializing a novel on Substack is considered publishing, so if anyone wants to seek traditional publication later for it, it likely won't be as viable because it's considered published. That said, there are exceptions to everything and if it's treated more episodically and story-like, rather than chapters from a novel, it can work.
That's such helpful info, SC! If I move toward serializing, I'll be sure to seek out clear advice about the ramifications. I deeply appreciate that very hot tip!! xoxo
Hi Diane, you mentioned that you had two agents before, and that those two books died on submission. What happened after that -did you mutually decide to call it quits because they weren't supportive while you wrote the next book? Or if it was an amicable split, maybe you could contact either of them again and present the new novel to them?
You need to go with your gut feeling. If you're not sure about serially posting on Substack, then maybe trad publishing is what you feel is best for you, even if the idea of querying is like pulling teeth. What about speaking to agents personally via conferences? Live pitching to an agent is a good way of testing the market.
Generally an agent won't be able to resist a high-concept novel. Something different, that has a twist on something familiar, that can be summarized in one sentence and pulls the reader in. Amor Towles, A Gentleman in Moscow - man is imprisoned in a hotel and needs to make a viable existence there. Yesteryear (love it or hate it) - influencer is forced to live the trad wife lifestyle...in 1855.
You mentioned that you're working on a GenX rom-com. What makes it different from the other rom-coms out there? How can you make it more high-concept?
You need to identify what it is about querying that makes you hesitant to step back in again, and then work to fix it. I hate querying myself, so all the agent offers I got were live-pitched to them. I went to conferences around the country. So when it came time to send my manuscript, I had several people who I already connected with.
The real hurdle isn't the querying part. The hardest, most devastating part, is a book dying on submission. BUT...that book can be resurrected - and "un-rejected" - once you have an agent in your corner who will be able to sell that book as your second book, once she convinces the editors that your current novel is irresistible.
Thank you so SO much for sharing your thoughts, Katherine. So many great insights. A few things...regarding agents, I broke up with my first one (and not particularly amicably) before we went out on sub. She stopped communicating and wasn't helpful as I was revising. I never found another agent for that book (although I'm revisiting it--now it's an historical novel!!). The second agent doesn't seem super interested in the current novel. She repped me on a kidlit book--that's the one that died on sub. She's just now taking on some adult work, but she didn't answer my last email. I consider this a dead end.
So there's that.
Regarding the rom-com, it's different because it features a fifty-something protag, which is not the norm out there. I feel like midlife books are getting more popular right now and I explore midlife themes. It's been hard to find comps, so I don't feel it lacks the unique quality. But I've been told I should try to up the stakes a bit, which is challenging with humor. But I do think I've managed to make my character feel urgency in the book...
And I've done some live pitching over the years. I'm setting up two opportunities for that in June. They will be the first live pitches since this latest revision, so we'll see!
I guess it's just been a long journey and I'm battle-fatigued. It's premature to stop querying at the moment. But I was just thinking a future plan might help.
And you're helping me think on that-- I'm so grateful to you! Thank you again for your insights, and your support! I hope others read that comment for some helpful advice!! xox
Good luck on the live pitching, Diane! I feel it's more effective to send out a full MS once you've connected to an agent personally. You also then bypass the waiting time as they tell you right then if they want the full MS.
It's true that there aren't many 50-something rom coms, but there are more midlife books out there now, so there's an audience for that. With raising the stakes I ask myself, what will happen to the protagonist if she doesn't get what she wants now? What horrible things will happen to her? Even if she won't die, will she lose her house or job or be unable to take care of her family?
Thank you so much for this thoughtful advice, Katherine, and the good wishes for my live pitches. I think you're right about pitching in person when possible! And I'm always trying to revise with your last point in mind. Again, I think I upped the stakes in the latest version, giving my protag more to lose. Hopefully, it's enough!
Again, thank you for reading and commenting! I'm so grateful to you! ❤️
I definitely won’t pretend to have any advice for you but will instead just say that I’ve been there and it’s all so hard. Only you can truly know what’s the right next step for you, but I am a firm believer that there’s no such thing as trying too long or too hard—it just depends on what you want most. If you want a traditional publishing deal, don’t give up on it. If your biggest goal is to get your work out there, we are lucky enough to live in a time where there are lots of wonderful paths to do so! Here to keep rooting you on either way 🙌
Thanks a million for your thoughts, Cortney! And I know that you’ve strived for the book deal (hooray that you landed it!!) so I imagine you’ve traveled the rattlesnake road to get there! The alternate paths do look more appealing than they used to, so there are options. I’ll probably end up coming back to all of you for more advice as I get even deeper into the trenches.
In the meantime, I’m so grateful for your encouragement! I deeply appreciate it! And I’m weighing what all of you are saying—maybe other readers will benefit, too from all of this wisdom. I hope so! We are fellow travelers, even if some of us take a little longer on the journey, or go a different path altogether. xox
I agree with what SC and Alexa said. You can keep trying or take a break. Being a writer is not something you choose to be — it is just what you are (I believe).
If I can suggest anything, you can try serializing it, and see what the response is like, maybe the first 10 episodes or so, and see the engagement? If you choose to do so, I will share anything that I learned over the last half a year I have been here. I do not have a gazillion subscribers, but I believe I have a steady stream of readers who often leave likes and comments, including you. Let me know what you think. I am pretty sure you already have the manuscript ready, so it might be easy for you to start on it. (And I want to read it so bad!! I know it is good. 💕😉)
Thank you so much Yuni! You’re such an inspiration! I love how you forged ahead with serializing! Your story is fantastic, so it makes sense that you’d have engagement. I’m a little more fearful, but if/when I take the plunge, I will absolutely reach out! It makes a lot of sense to test the waters. I could certainly see myself going that route if I become exhausted from querying.
I hope people see your comments here and also take a look at your newsletter. It’s a great story, and also a really fine example of how to serialize!
Thanks so much again for your support!! I’m so grateful to you! xox
Let me take a sip of me tea. Boy, Diane. That's showing beautiful vulnerability! And judging by the wonderful and sincere comments, I hope you can see you're not alone in this.
This is a hard knock on the head business, and lately I've been thinking a lot about how to balance things to avoid burnout, and to simply cut myself some slack now and then.
Querying is hard. Anyone who's been through it, knows it's like dressing up and going to hundreds of job interviews. Only, we can't chit-chat and smile politely; we have just our words to speak for us. On the other end of your submission, sits a human being who is bombarded with queries. And on the other side of her, is a publishing industry where the focus has shifted to reduced costs (i.e. human numbers) and (incredulously) increased profit.
I try to remember all the players and their roles, because it helps me not to feel personally rejected.
I make my man listen to passages of my work from time to time. He doesn't register a word of it (I forgive him; he has many other qualities that make up for his lack of a literate ear). He asked me over the weekend. 'Even if you can't get a publishing deal, would your life be worse off if you didn't write?' And the only answer that came was a resounding, 'Yes!' Of course I would be worse off if I stopped writing, regardless if my only audience's eyes glaze over when I read him poetry and prose.
To your question about what you should do: Absolutely don't give up! 🌸
The good news is there are options for publishing. Each carries its own challenges. But there are options.
When the memory of a snake encounter is still fresh in your mind, your brain's survival mechanism says, no way am I doing that again! But in time, you go through your photos, and you realise the snake was only a potential threat. There'd been no harm done. What matters most, is having been on the trip.
Ah Leonora, this is a wonderful answer to my post! Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom. How smart to think of the literary agent on the other side. It's easy to imagine that they have the easy job, but they have to face querying and rejection too, it's true. Even the editors have to hear no. It's best not to take it personally, even though that's hard.
I love that your man listens to you read your work. What a great image-- and what devotion! And he asked the right question. Sometimes, the answer nearly slips out that I'd rather spare myself the pain of writing, but it never really lands. What ends up happening is that I take a break from writing novels and try something else.
One day, I wonder if I'll walk away from fiction writing for good in favor of other forms. It could happen out of frustration. But your answer helps me see that in a way, that's not giving up either. That's just channeling the urge to write in another direction.
Finally, I love that you turned my own near-miss with the snake back on me in such a productive way!! Thank you for that!! The snake won't define the vacation. What a fantastic takeaway.
Again, I can't thank you enough for all of these insights. I greatly appreciate them. I'm sure that others reading the comments will gain something from them too! I'm so grateful for your support and your friendship! ❤️
P.S. If your man gets tired of hearing your passages, please feel free to reach out. I'd be very happy to hear them!
That's what we're here for: to learn from each other and support each other. Big hug! ❤️
Thank you again—you’re a great teacher! Sending a big hug back!
My two cents: start your next book (or project) now, while you are in the querying process. I know for myself, moving forward helps keep negative thoughts at bay. As frustrating as the querying process is, on a daily basis it doesn’t need to consume you. Do your research, send your emails, and move on. All you can do is control what you can control.
Regardless, good luck and keep at it!
Thanks so much, Henny! You’re 100% right about moving forward with other projects. I’ve been working on humor pieces as a way to push myself, and Substack has been a big diversion, too. I’m also revising an old manuscript because I have a new idea for it. But I’m really skittish about starting a new book. I don’t write super fast, so books are multi-year commitments. That makes putting one in the drawer extra painful. In any case, I’m hoping I can dig into a bigger project again one day soon.
Really appreciate you reading and commenting, as always! And hope your writing is going well! Can’t wait to hear an update about your book, too!
Totally understand the skittishness, that is no small task. Humor sounds like fun for you!
Hoping for fun! Fingers crossed!
And thanks so much again for reading. I really appreciate it!
Oh, this felt painfully familiar in parts. 😄
I think many of us creative people quietly carry entire cemeteries of unfinished or overworked projects behind us.
Not because the ideas weren’t good enough…
but because somewhere along the way we became convinced they needed to emerge into the world already perfect, polished, meaningful, and wearing formal attire.
Meanwhile the poor creative spirit is somewhere in the corner asking if it may simply write again before retirement.
And honestly, I’m beginning to suspect that sharing work imperfectly with real humans might actually be healthier than endlessly trying to survive the rattlesnake obstacle course of perfection and gatekeeping.
Also, your Arizona story gave me flashbacks. Rainer and I once crossed Arizona during our slightly wild California-to-Belize adventure years ago, and our own “spiritual Arizona experience” involved a blown tire on a pitch-black motorway, absolutely no equipment to fix it, and eventually a sheriff rescuing us into what can only be described as a deeply suspicious 1970s motel of nightmares. 😄
So personally, I think Arizona may simply be where people go to receive dramatic life metaphors.
Publishing is so very treacherous! And based on your experience, Arizona was the right setting for the metaphor—better than I realized! Yes, it’s so hard to know how much of the self to hang out there, and for how long. But it’s also hard to stop writing with the wish that other people might see it and benefit somehow — or at least laugh (which is the aim of my book). I’ll press ahead with querying for now, but to what end, I’m not sure. I will come to all of you again if I need a shot of antivenom! Thanks a million for stopping by and commenting! I’m so grateful to you have you in the conversation!
I love this. Now I want to go to Arizona.
I highly recommend!! Just keep your eyes on the ground a bit better than I did, and you'll be fine --lol! Seriously, Arizona is fab!! ❤️
I wish I could give some advice. I can't muster my own daily writing practice to get my damn book done. But I am here. Rooting for you. And me. Us. I whatever happens to our creations. May God bless us with amazing, traditional publishing deals and we get on Oprah and Reese's book lists. Boom. Manifesting.
Thank you so much for the cheerleading, my friend! I'm sending so much good energy back at you. And trust me, I've been through those moments when the butt simply won't land the chair. You'll get back to it. Sometimes, it's good to take a break! (And if you don't need a break but just feel blah, one of my tricks is to leave the MS open on screen and walk away. At some point, you might find yourself in front of it because well, it's just sitting there! I'm not kidding!!).
And may Oprah and Reese hear your prayers.
Thank you for reading and for the support--always! ❤️
I felt this all the way down in my bones...which means you gotta keep going. This is a brutal path, but if it's your passion and your talent, it's hard to let go even though you get slapped around so much. I really felt this hard.
Thank you so much for reading -- and for this comment, I&H. I hope you aren't on a hard journey with your writing yourself. Either way, I'm so rooting for you as you work on your own project. Are you shooting for traditional publishing? Hopefully, your passion keeps you going, whatever your goals! Thank you again for the support with I deeply appreciate!❤️
I'm rooting for you too! Patience. I know it's frustrating!
I love this conversation Diane, thank you for starting it. I think questioning yourself is a form of affirming belief in yourself, so you are on the right track. I also had an agent who left the business, which was incredibly disappointing, but I have to add that I still believe in the books she didn't sell. When I look at them now, I think they are gorgeous and worth publication. I have chosen to submit to publishers who accept unagented submissions (some have little submission windows). I have a spreadsheet and everything, and I'm using parts of my agent's email pitches. And still working on my current writing.
Like I said, I think you are doing great. And the advice here is amazing.
Ah, I didn’t remember that you were a publishing veteran!! Forgive me!! It’s a great idea to submit direct to publishers. I’m very tempted to go that route myself, but I don’t know exactly when to do that since I’m querying for representation, and I don’t want an agent to be irritated that I’m reaching out to publishers on my own. In any case, I’m SO cheering for you!! Please keep me (and us!!) posted about about your progress! Or send me a DM!! ❤️
Oops, I should’ve been more clear… I am submitting my picture books! At some point, I may submit my middle grade novel after a revision. But that is for the future. So I don’t anticipate crossover between the publishers I’m submitting to now and agents who might represent my adult mystery since very few agents represent both age groups. I didn’t mean to be disingenuous in my comment. But I do think it is a route you could try if you run out of agent ideas and still don’t want to self publish. I also liked the advice that you could go to live pitch events. I think that would be really smart and might even be fun. I would like to try that myself.
Ah, that makes good sense! It's a fine idea to go out with your picture books on your own! It's also great to send to publishers direct after querying. And something I've considered, but maybe for later. :)
I'd also agree that live pitch events make sense! I've done them before, but with every big revision the book changes, so it's worth doing more.
Thanks so much again for all the comments and engagement! You're such an awesome friend and I'm so grateful for your support! ❤️
Live pitching feels like a performance to me. Immediate feedback. And I am so grateful to have met you on here. Thank you!
Sending hugs!
Diane, I'm glad you avoided that rattlesnake and weren't too shaken up by that root. AZ's beauty does come with a price.
I self-published books using print on demand in the past and it didn't cost very much and got them on Amazon, all the other major booksellers and available through Baker and Taylor. I intend to publish the same way when I finish my next.
Marketing/sales is still essential for any author, even if they do have a traditional publisher--you're pretty much on your own unless you're Stephen King and are supposed to have proof of an audience/following today anyway. Just because you're a creative doesn't mean these skills aren't expected.
If you're going to do the marketing anyway, you might as well keep a larger amount of each book sale for yourself IMO and control the content and creative elements.
In terms of serializing on Substack, I'm not sure if you follow Sarah Fay from Northwestern but she both writes about Substack from the writer's POV and also serialized her own book on Substack called "Pathological" and then it became a bestseller, so studying what she did might help you decide if you're up for it.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Melanie! I didn’t realize you’d gone down the self-publishing path, but I hear you about the benefits. And you’re such an incredible go-getter that I’ll bet you know exactly how to do the marketing. Honestly, that’s my biggest fear about it. I don’t think I’d be good at it at all. But I’ll be exploring it more deeply if the querying doesn’t go my way. It sounds like you’ve really made it work for you.
Regarding serializing, I just discovered Sara Fay and will be sure to read all of the back posts about her publishing journey. I love the stories about people’s successes that don’t start with traditional publishing. As you and others here in the comments have pointed out, there really are many ways to get one’s work out there these days.
Many thanks again for this answer, and for your support which means the world to me! I’m so grateful for your friendship.❤️
I’m very glad to help Diane. Marketing was my college major and my initial career for over a decade and I did direct sales and was a sales trainer—skills that can never hurt in anything you want to do.
That said, I doubt if I had to start today that I would have chosen to go into Marketing because it is all social media and even Notes I have a love-hate relationship with.
IMO book marketing is just selling yourself and what you believe in, and we’re all good at that.
I try to play into my strength of writing through my Substack publication, Notes, Guest Posts and in the past, I got some pretty good media exposure responding to reporter requests for assistance with their work through a service called HARO (Help a Reporter Out) which I would probably try again (or something similar). I also did a lot of strategic alliance and partnership work, so I’m good at building relationships and collaborating—another way to get the word out and support each other (like you and I do now).
Glad you discovered Sarah, as opposed to the “get 1 million subscribers tomorrow “ camp, she approaches Substack from the writer’s POV which I like although she herself is more into video/lives than I care to be.
I’ll be very interested to see how this goes for you my friend!
Thanks a million again, Melanie!! So grateful for your POV! I’ll be back in touch if self-publishing is in the cards. And unfortunately for you, my subscribers, you’ll hear about this publishing journey one way or another - LOL! ❤️
Don’t give up, Diane. Dig in to the process (the writing) and have a game plan, like you do, and that may be evolving, but let go of the results as much as you can. You’re a writer through and through. You can be proud of that always. ❤️
Excellent advice, Jenn. It's so hard to remember to just go back to the work and let the process sort itself out. Maybe I shouldn't even try to think too far ahead. One day at at time. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I so appreciate your support! ❤️
I don't have any advice but I want you to know that I'm here for you. *hugs*
Thank you so much, Josie! I'm cheering you on as you finish your novel!! Don't even think about any of this junk right now!! xox
Oh, Diane. I’ve already thought about this junk, lol!
Drat!! Well don't let old jaded folks like me scare you! You've got this! ❤️
But it's helpful to go into the process with eyes wide open.